You've got the fear, but I've got the remote control for the bomb in your shoes

Instead of my usual pithy contributions on current political and media events, this one's going to be much more based around me. Seeing as how its my blog.... Now come friends, as we delve into the fetid depths of my psyche and compile a list of my fears for the summer/next year/the future.

• The weather continuing to flip between arid sunshine and tortuous rain, causing havoc for umbrella and suntan lotion salesmen everywhere. Until someone comes up with an umbrella that converts rain into suntan lotion, thus ensuring a continuous drizzle of white, creamy liquid onto the bearer of said umbrella, giving them an incredibly unfortunate appearance.
• Michael Jackson comes back from the dead, only to die again, leading to a second media blitz of unprecedented (except for his first death) and unwarranted magnitude. I still haven't forgiven him for dying 2 weeks before Bruno came out, denying us the unparalleled pleasure that would have been the extra 5 minutes of now deleted scenes. However, they could remake the Thriller video and it'd be far more realistic
  
• Football Manager 2010 never being released. A thought to make grown men weep like children
• Everyones' legs falling off simultaneously, leading to the establishment of a new ruling elite amongst gymnasts (the only people able to walk on their hands). Terrifying.
  

In other news....we've got an exchange girl coming from France, meaning (if every sitcom ever is to be believed), we are in for an hilarious week of pronunciation misunderstandings, and possibly even a few "cheese eating surrender monkeys" jokes. If we're lucky.

Song of the Day: You Held the World In Your Arms - Idlewild. If you ever have, literally, held the world in your arms, your arms are abnormally large. You MUST go and get that checked by a certified medical professional IMMEDIATELY.