England, and why they definitely might possibly win the World Cup. Perhaps.

The Football World Cup. Unarguably the greatest competition of any kind (barring the Sheffield University Community Olympics). The cup where legends are made. Where nations are united behind 11 men striving to bring home the most coveted trophy in the world. And what better way to focus that desire than a song?

Through the years, England have had some great World Cup songs. Who can forget the inspirational 'Three Lions', or the simply epic 'Vindaloo', featuring the unforgettable line "Me and me Mum and me Dad and me Gran and a bucket of Vindaloo", which is a recipe for the worst evening watching football ever. However, there have been some misses, most notably New Order's 'World In Motion', which features the most execrable spoken word sequence (including John Barnes exhorting listeners to "get round the back") ever committed to tape.

One of the most vital parts of any World Cup bid (much more so than training or squad selection, or any of that b*llocks) is the song. Which is why, in the build up to England's inevitable qualification (see Euro 2008) for South Africa 2010, we must consider the possible contenders to write the official World Cup song:

• Radiohead: a masterpiece of a song, elegantly constructed and using a variety of instruments. It will be depressing in tone, which would at least prepare everyone for the inevitable quarter final penalty misery
• Kanye West: A hard-core R&B tune referring to "goal tenders", "making the play" and "line judges". Like the US football team, a little bit "sh*t"
• Edward Elgar: A stirring classical piece , much like Pavarotti's rendition of Nessun Dorma. Could be rendered slightly worse by the fact that the composer has, in fact, been dead for some 75 years.

So there are the contenders. Feel free to make your own suggestions. Or, indeed, don't. Doesn't matter to me. But I will leave you with just one piece of advice: Never, ever go to a party at John Barnes’ house without having the police on speed dial.

Song of the day: Flux - Bloc Party. Kele Orekeke takes a break from writing lyrics of witty social commentary to provide medical advice, in the form of the line "If your right hand is causing you pain, cut it off". However, after consulting medical professionals, this blogger has found that if your right hand is indeed causing you pain, DO NOT CUT IT OFF. Seek medical advice. Cutting it off will not only deprive you of a useful limb, it will, if anything, cause you even more pain than when it was still intact.

And finally, I think, a moment’s reflection for the 96 people who died as a result of the Hillsborough disaster. No-one has ever stood up to admit their guilt to this crime of negligence, and I can only offer my support to those families who are still fighting to find out exactly why their loved ones died.