Scary Stuff...

I've just been trolling through some random blogs from this very site, and have discovered an inconvenient truth: when it comes to other bloggers, I am not in very good company. The majority I found were by middle-aged American housewives discussing their intolerably average middle-class lives, showing us endless pictures of their snotty nosed, ridiculously named (Ryne, Madonna) children. As if that wasn't enough, they seem to think we might be interested in their philosphical musings on what a snowflake is for, or what colour cheese sounds like. Those aren't real questions! The only slightly different blogs were one advertising home furnishings and another in Japanese discussing, I think, ways to rid themselves of the "Western Menace". I may have been wrong. So there you have it. When it comes to blogging, the only choices are Suburbian Americana, Japanese Genocide, or me. I think you know who to pick...

Song of the day: Supermassive Black Hole - Muse. Contrary to popular belief, this song is not about the celestial phenomena, instead using them as a metaphor for a (probably quite strange) relationship. Clever that.

P.S. To anyone reading this who has a blog, I didn't mean to imply that yours wasnt worth looking at. Just that I haven't bothered.

P.P.S. I just found this. Pretension now has a URL.

Festivals: The Argument.

In lieu of Biology revision, today I bring you a blog on one of the most important questions to have faced mankind in recent years: Are festivals (the music variety, not like a gay pride march or anything) good? As I spent the best weekend of my life at Glastonbury in 2007, it will probably be a fairly one-sided argument. But, in the interests of unbiased journalism, I'll do my best.

First, the pros:

• The Bands. All your favourite musical masterminds gathered in one place. Your chance to see The Who, Bloc Party, Manic Street Preachers and Klaxons (Twice). And all for a fraction of the price of going to see them all seperately.
• The Atmosphere: 140'000 people all there to enjoy the weekend. Like Bolton, but with nice people.
• The Drugs: Where else could you walk into a tent to find it literally packed with people smoking marijuana. Nowhere else, that's where.
• The People: smiles and happiness everywhere you look. The Outsider Indie Kid mixing with doped up 60 year old Hippies. brilliant.

And now, the cons:

• The Bands- Who wants to wake up at 10 on a Sunday morning to the strains of Kate Nash's unique brand of nasal annoyance-pop?
• The Atmosphere - 9 hours to get out of the car park. Enough said.
• The Drugs: After being sent sprawling into the mud for the 5th time by some idiot who's had one too many "Herbal Highs", it gets hard to see the funny side.
• The People: 140'000 people going without a shower for 3 days. Not too nice.

So, festivals have both good points and bad points. But they're still awesome. So, y'know, go to one. Go on. Right now. Stop reading this and go.

Song of the day: Hunting For Witches - Bloc Party. Kele Okereke once did an interview with NME about how he hated to be interviewed. I'm not sure whether this is more ironic or hypocritical, so I'll say its both. How hypocritically ironic. Still a great great band though.

That time of the month: (Exam) Period

I've recently had some complaints that I just don't talk enough about football, and as this is a subject of great interest to my one reader I will be spending this blog talking about the history of the offside rule, before moving on to the effect on the modern game of the Dutch "Total Football" system of the 70's, particularly as regards the Arsenal "Invincibles" during their infamous unbeaten league campaign of the 03/04 season. Actually I won't at all, I just wanted to worry you :-). Although, I'm not sure I can think of anything else to write about....

I am, of course, joking. instead my subject shall be procrastination. But then again, I might just put this blog off until tomorrow...

As you may know, next week marks the start of exam season at Sheffield Uni. Now the perfect student would have long since made a revision timetable, started their revision and possibly solved world poverty while they were at it. However, seeing as how such a person would undoubtedly have already been trampled underfoot by a mob of students off to watch the match, get hammered and fall asleep outside their flat, this week has instead seen a flurry of sleeping, watching TV and general time wasting activities. This week I have: played 4 consecutive hours of corridor football, raced a Tomy my first car up and down the flat, watched endless episodes of Judge Judy (she's such a b*tch), and sat for 45 minutes folding and unfolding a Galaxy wrapper, all in the name of not working. Which is unfortunate.

However, on the off chance my mother ever stumbles across this, I have been devoting my time wholeheartedly to revision, revision and nothing but revision. That and making swans out of tin foil.

Song of the day: Where I End And You Begin - Radiohead. Made famous for the lyric "There's a gap in between, where I end and you begin". Which is good. because otherwise he'd be some sort of conjoined fetus type person, and that wouldn't be nice at all.

Why Orson (the band, not the town in Pennysylvania) never really caught on...

(Conversation at Orson's secret hideout)

Right, guys. First things first, I've got these hats that i think will really give the band something extra for people to talk about. But onto the main item i wanted to discuss - the new song. I've had a great idea. How about, right, we go to a rave and behave like we're tripping. but, and here's the clever part, we're not really tripping, we're only acting that way 'cause we're so in love. I'm sure we'll get some inspiration from it!

I don't really know what this is about, but i got it in my head a few days ago and i thought i'd better write it down. So, y'know. There it is.

Song of the Day : Kids - MGMT. i love it.

Predictions for 2009!

Seeing as how it is now 2009, and I have nothing else to write about, I will instead make a few predictions for the year ahead of us. These are absolutely guaranteed to come true, and I fully encourage you to bet your life savings on the outcomes of them.

First of all, sport: Newcastle to mount a second half of the season surge which sees them win the Premier League, FA Cup and Champion's League, having been given Chelsea's place for being really really ludicrously good. Michael Owen agrees a new contract where he actually pays the club to play, and Shay Given is crowned King of the World for being absolutely the best Goalie ever. England qualify for the World Cup, but we lose everything in Rugby and Cricket. Rebecca Adlington makes a clean sweep of the Gold Medals at the World Championships after the other competitors refuse to enter the pool on the grounds that they might catch "Really Ugly Disease". Usain Bolt loses both legs in an unfortunate Jacuzzi accident but still manages to set a world record in the 100m, having had enough time to sit down for a cup of tea and to ring his Grandma before strolling over the line 30m ahead of the rest of the field.

Next up, celebrity: Pete Doherty finally dies, and in his autopsy doctors find that he was in fact controlled by one of those little aliens, like in the first Men In Black. This leads to widespread hysteria and panic. Police raid the offices of Heat and OK! Magazines to find that in fact every famous person is like this. However, it is too late, as by then they have advanced on Westminster and installed Kate Moss as Prime Minister. Fortunately, no-one ever hears her speak so life goes on pretty much as normal. in other news, George Bush decides to invade Narnia, before being told that it is, in fact, a fictional land. He still spends the rest of the year sitting in his wardrobe humming.

Music : Crystal Castles' Ethan Kath finally realises he is the only one in the group with talent and kicks out Alice Glass, who sets up her own group, Glass Houses. However, they're sh*t and no-one pays them any attention. Slipknot supremo Joey Jordison reveals his love for the work of Impressionist Composer Claude Debussy. The band revamp themselves as a nine piece Classical group, a move which, to some surprise, quadruples attendances at their gigs. Although seeing as how only two people in the world like them anyway....

Anyway. There will be more to this possibly but right now its Kettering v Eastwood Town. The most anticipated game since Bishop Stopford vs Comet Works Team. not.

And lastly, to steal Charlotte's idea (duh duh duuuuuuuhh)

Song of the Day: Helicopter - Bloc Party. 3 out of 5 may not be enough, but i'll settle for 1-0